Prabhupada said, “I’ve given you this big ISKCON movement. If you can, please expand it.”
Udayananda: Toward the end when Srila Prabhupada was very ill, he said,
“I want to see Krishna and Balaram.
Tamal got his palanquin and he said,
“Udayananda, I want you and Manohara to carry Prabhupada.”
Manohara was in the front and I was in the back.
We picked up the palanquin to test it and it was really not that heavy.
When you looked at Srila Prabhupada, he couldn’t have weighed more than eighty pounds.
So for us big, young guys, it would be simple to carry him on the palanquin.
But when we lifted him on the palanquin, it felt like I was bench-pressing four hundred pounds.
It was so heavy.
I could barely stand up.
I then realized what it means that the guru is “heavy”.
I was thinking, “How am I going to do this service?”
Anyway, we brought Prabhupada out and circumambulated the Krishna-Balaram Mandir and then stopped in front of Gaur-Nitai’s altar.
Prabhupada looked at the deities, and then lowered his head.
Everyone offered their obeisances.
We moved Prabhupada in front of Krishna and Balaram and he became transfixed on the deities.
I was looking at Prabhupada’s face and a big tear came out of Prabhupada’s eye.
Prabhupada then bowed his head and then we carried him back.
The devotees were going wild.
When we brought him back into his quarters and put him in his chair, Tamal Krishna Maharaj said, “Srila Prabhupada, the devotees are ecstatic!”
Prabhupada said, “I am also ecstatic.”
Then Tamal said, “Srila Prabhupada, we will take you out every single day. And then you’ll get stronger and we’ll take you all over Vrindavan. And then we’ll take you to Govardhan!
“And then you’ll get stronger and stronger and you can preach stronger, and then we’ll take you all over the world!”
All the devotees cried out, “Jai!” Prabhupada had a big smile.
I just very much appreciated the way Tamal was giving pleasure to Srila Prabhupada.
After seeing Prabhupada in his weakened condition we probably cried for about an hour.
Then I went and took a shower to put on new cloth to chant before the deities.
As I came walking past Srila Prabhupada’s room, Upendra came out and said,
“Excuse me, Prabhu. Could you do me a favor?”
I stopped and said, “Sure, what is it Prabhu?”
Upendra said, “Can you come in and be with Srila Prabhupada?”
I said, “Uh, excuse me?”
He said, “Srila Prabhupada has been asking for all his devotees to be with him and no one is coming.”
I said, “Are you kidding?”
Upendra said, “No, would you please come in and be with Srila Prabhupada?”
It was as if someone would ask, “Would you please get on this flower airplane and go to Goloka Vrindavan?” “Hmm, let me think, right?” So I said, “Sure!”
It was about two o’clock in the afternoon at this time when I sat down at Srila Prabhupada’s feet.
I got to stay in his room until ten o’clock that night.
Then Prabhupada said, “Okay, everyone should take rest.”
As I was leaving, Upendra said, “Thank you, Prabhu, for coming,”
I was thinking that it would be every devotee’s desire to be with Srila Prabhupada at all times, so I asked, “Can I come back tomorrow?”
Upendra said, “Oh would you?”
I said, “Yeah, when can I come?”
Upendra said, “When would you like to come?”
I said, “How about right after mangal arotik?”
Upendra said, “Great.”
So for the next two weeks I would go to Prabhupada’s room and stay until ten o’clock at night as well as being able to massage Prabhupada’s feet every single day.
That was how much Prabhupada was reciprocating.
But it was extremely painful to hear how Srila Prabhupada asked, not just once, but every single day,
“Why are my devotees not coming? Don’t they want to be with me?”
And then he said, “Has my association become that poisonous?”
It was a great travesty.
I know how many God-brothers and God-sisters would have wanted to be with Prabhupada at that time.
And Prabhupada wanted to be with them.
That was Prabhupada’s final request.
And for whatever reason, it didn’t happen.
It was tragic.
During Prabhupada’s final days, it was very difficult to see him in his weakened condition.
It tore your heart right out.
But the amazing thing was that Prabhupada, even though he had that condition, was translating the Srimad-Bhagavatam.
At the same time he was running the movement.
He was even cracking jokes.
It was just phenomenal how he could do everything.
Physically he was so weak but his consciousness was crystal clear.
One day Prabhupada said, “I’ve given you this big ISKCON movement. If you can, please expand it.”
Prabhupada said, “At least maintain it. Don’t let this decrease.”
Then Prabhupada said, “Please cooperate,” as he said so many times before.
And then Prabhupada started to cry.
Everyone in the room started crying.
That was probably the most painful moment of my life, to see Prabhupada cry.
So we have this movement.
It’s Prabhupada’s movement.
We have the good, we have the bad, and we have the ugly.
But we just have to be determined to never leave the ISKCON movement.
We just have to always try to push it forward.
If there’s a problem, push it forward.
Because when you leave ISKCON, you make Prabhupada cry.
So let’s make Prabhupada happy and push on Krishna consciousness to every town and village.
—Udayananda
.
.
MEMORIES-ANECDOTES OF A MODERN-DAY SAINT" BY SIDDHANTA
Udayananda: Toward the end when Srila Prabhupada was very ill, he said,
“I want to see Krishna and Balaram.
Tamal got his palanquin and he said,
“Udayananda, I want you and Manohara to carry Prabhupada.”
Manohara was in the front and I was in the back.
We picked up the palanquin to test it and it was really not that heavy.
When you looked at Srila Prabhupada, he couldn’t have weighed more than eighty pounds.
So for us big, young guys, it would be simple to carry him on the palanquin.
But when we lifted him on the palanquin, it felt like I was bench-pressing four hundred pounds.
It was so heavy.
I could barely stand up.
I then realized what it means that the guru is “heavy”.
I was thinking, “How am I going to do this service?”
Anyway, we brought Prabhupada out and circumambulated the Krishna-Balaram Mandir and then stopped in front of Gaur-Nitai’s altar.
Prabhupada looked at the deities, and then lowered his head.
Everyone offered their obeisances.
We moved Prabhupada in front of Krishna and Balaram and he became transfixed on the deities.
I was looking at Prabhupada’s face and a big tear came out of Prabhupada’s eye.
Prabhupada then bowed his head and then we carried him back.
The devotees were going wild.
When we brought him back into his quarters and put him in his chair, Tamal Krishna Maharaj said, “Srila Prabhupada, the devotees are ecstatic!”
Prabhupada said, “I am also ecstatic.”
Then Tamal said, “Srila Prabhupada, we will take you out every single day. And then you’ll get stronger and we’ll take you all over Vrindavan. And then we’ll take you to Govardhan!
“And then you’ll get stronger and stronger and you can preach stronger, and then we’ll take you all over the world!”
All the devotees cried out, “Jai!” Prabhupada had a big smile.
I just very much appreciated the way Tamal was giving pleasure to Srila Prabhupada.
After seeing Prabhupada in his weakened condition we probably cried for about an hour.
Then I went and took a shower to put on new cloth to chant before the deities.
As I came walking past Srila Prabhupada’s room, Upendra came out and said,
“Excuse me, Prabhu. Could you do me a favor?”
I stopped and said, “Sure, what is it Prabhu?”
Upendra said, “Can you come in and be with Srila Prabhupada?”
I said, “Uh, excuse me?”
He said, “Srila Prabhupada has been asking for all his devotees to be with him and no one is coming.”
I said, “Are you kidding?”
Upendra said, “No, would you please come in and be with Srila Prabhupada?”
It was as if someone would ask, “Would you please get on this flower airplane and go to Goloka Vrindavan?” “Hmm, let me think, right?” So I said, “Sure!”
It was about two o’clock in the afternoon at this time when I sat down at Srila Prabhupada’s feet.
I got to stay in his room until ten o’clock that night.
Then Prabhupada said, “Okay, everyone should take rest.”
As I was leaving, Upendra said, “Thank you, Prabhu, for coming,”
I was thinking that it would be every devotee’s desire to be with Srila Prabhupada at all times, so I asked, “Can I come back tomorrow?”
Upendra said, “Oh would you?”
I said, “Yeah, when can I come?”
Upendra said, “When would you like to come?”
I said, “How about right after mangal arotik?”
Upendra said, “Great.”
So for the next two weeks I would go to Prabhupada’s room and stay until ten o’clock at night as well as being able to massage Prabhupada’s feet every single day.
That was how much Prabhupada was reciprocating.
But it was extremely painful to hear how Srila Prabhupada asked, not just once, but every single day,
“Why are my devotees not coming? Don’t they want to be with me?”
And then he said, “Has my association become that poisonous?”
It was a great travesty.
I know how many God-brothers and God-sisters would have wanted to be with Prabhupada at that time.
And Prabhupada wanted to be with them.
That was Prabhupada’s final request.
And for whatever reason, it didn’t happen.
It was tragic.
During Prabhupada’s final days, it was very difficult to see him in his weakened condition.
It tore your heart right out.
But the amazing thing was that Prabhupada, even though he had that condition, was translating the Srimad-Bhagavatam.
At the same time he was running the movement.
He was even cracking jokes.
It was just phenomenal how he could do everything.
Physically he was so weak but his consciousness was crystal clear.
One day Prabhupada said, “I’ve given you this big ISKCON movement. If you can, please expand it.”
Prabhupada said, “At least maintain it. Don’t let this decrease.”
Then Prabhupada said, “Please cooperate,” as he said so many times before.
And then Prabhupada started to cry.
Everyone in the room started crying.
That was probably the most painful moment of my life, to see Prabhupada cry.
So we have this movement.
It’s Prabhupada’s movement.
We have the good, we have the bad, and we have the ugly.
But we just have to be determined to never leave the ISKCON movement.
We just have to always try to push it forward.
If there’s a problem, push it forward.
Because when you leave ISKCON, you make Prabhupada cry.
So let’s make Prabhupada happy and push on Krishna consciousness to every town and village.
—Udayananda
.
.
MEMORIES-ANECDOTES OF A MODERN-DAY SAINT" BY SIDDHANTA
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